OMG! When my wife saw that tiny peeled corner, her vision started to blur with revulsion.
And you know what that means...
We have no choice other than to completely remodel the entire kitchen!
This makes perfect sense when you realize that:
a. As a man, I don't care about peeling fascia. I would just duct tape it down or stick a C-clamp on it. And
b. As a woman, my wife really needs me to just shhhhhsh for a minute, can't I see she's on the phone with a new loan officer?
$50,000,000,000.00 in debt later, we start making our remodeling plans.
Where do we begin? From the ground up, obviously. This means new flooring in the kitchen.
Me: Tile?
She: *crosses arms*
Me: No, too functional for a kitchen. Gah. That would be stupid. Puh. How about carpet?
She: *taps foot and frowns*
Me: What, honey? I was just covering all the bases, you don't have to look at me like that. Let's get wood!
Yes! Wood! Paula Deen has wood in her kitchen, apparently. So does Jennifer Aniston. Also Ophra. Clearly this is what we need, too.
Because we, also, are rich and powerful entertainment celebrities with an almost unlimited budget, in a certain wife's mind.
But, is this the kind of job we can tackle ourselves, thereby saving over twelve dollars in installation costs, with the added benefit of
multiple hospital visits from power tool mishaps and me screwing around with the Super Glue?
There's only one way to find out: install new flooring in some OTHER room first, as a practice run!
